The Bhutanchal Buccaneers

Day 4: April 13^th

Thimpu-Phuentsholing-Madarihat

I woke up several times in the night, looked up at my watch only to find out it was 0300 hours, then 0400 hours and then finally 0500 hours. It must be the fresh air up there. Then I woke up Doley and both of us scurried to the bus station. We walked, took in the fresh air, looked at girls walking early morning. I tell you, Bhutan is filled with beautiful girls first thing in the morning till dark!

We reached the bus stand and found it to be bustling with activity. Most of the buses were Toyota Coasters but we found out that on certain days of the week, Eicher buses also run in lieu of the Coasters. We walked from counter to counter, each of a different travel agency only to be told that the bus was full. The buses seat only around 18 people and Bhutan Transport System doesn’t allow standing passengers. We were finally directed by a nice (yeah, nice looking, with green nail polish too!) girl in a counter to try another counter. Fortunately that counter had seats but only for the 1100 hours bus. We took 5 tickets immediately and returned to the hotel. But we didn’t disclose the timing of the bus and told others it was at 0900 hours and we had to report half an hour before. The guys wasted no time since it was already 0700 hours and I meantime snuggled back into the bed for a quickie. A nap that is!

Then Gyan came in with a toothbrush. He was getting ready and grabbed the tickets on the table to have a casual look. The departure time was printed on the tickets and I was scared he’d see it. But then Gyan being Gyan took a very good look at the ticket, then announced to us that we better get ready on time. He had totally missed the time printed on the ticket!!

It was only after 0830 that he grew suspicious of me and Doley and demanded another dekko at the tickets. The moment he saw the time this time, he flopped back into his bed!

After a heavy breakfast that consisted of pork noodles, we weren’t yet satisfied. We ordered for more when the hotel guys informed us that we had milked the hotel dry of its pork stock! With our stomachs ready for the bus ride, we collected our bags and paid the hotel guy and bade that nice chap goodbye. He invited us once again to stay with him whenever we were in Thimpu. Inshahallah, we will soon.

We reached the bus stand well in time and the crowd had got smaller. We had some time to kill and we did that by roaming around. There we met Kinley and our taxi driver from the day before and we all shook hands hoping to come across each other some day.

The bus started at 1045 hours, premature. But since all the passengers had arrived, the driver saw no point in waiting. Also, we noticed that nobody checked anyone’s ticket. Everyone was seated calmly in their own place and the driver just announced it was the 1100 AM bus to Phuentsholing. Simple, beautiful. Nobody cheats, everybody’s happy.

The bus was eventful, plenty of action. Starting with the driver. He was handling the bus as if it was low cg Countach. We could hear the tyres squeal. Gyan had one of his fantasies fulfilled with that. He always dreams of sitting in a car with the tyres squealing mad and the wheel being turned clockwise infinite number of times.

Some distance into the journey, an elderly gentleman, whom we came to know as Mr Sonam from Bhumtang , turned on the music player in his mobile and went on to play some hindi numbers on it. We weren’t paying much heed to it until suddenly Creed’s “One Last Breath” came up and our eyebrows tweaked towards the sky. Eventually we chatted up and he came to know about us and we, about him. We learnt that he had been to a large number of places around the world and in India, but told us after all his years of travel, he had come to love India the best. He wasn’t even an Indian Citizen, but he said he found warmth in every nook and corner of India. A sincere smile came across our faces. We also chatted up with the bus driver and soon we had a good thing going on in the bus.

The journey was getting lull at times, so out came Gyan to our rescue. We asked Sonam Sir to pass on some zonkha songs into our mobiles so that we could listen to them sometimes. He gladly obliged and passed the phone to Kenny, but somehow Kenny couldn’t pair it with his Sony Ericsson. Gyan suggested he try since he had a Samsung, the same brand as Sonam Sir’s. He finally succeeded and transferred some 5-6 numbers and passed his phone to Kenny so that he could have the same. After Kenny transferred some songs, he tried to sample them and then found out he couldn’t find ay zonkha numbers. Puzzled he asked Gyan how many numbers he had copied. Gyan replied he had copied enough and then Kenny asked if any of them was a zonkha number. Gyan said no, nada, zilch, none. I turned to him and had just enough time to tell “Then why the hell do you think we passed the phone to you?” before I burst out laughing my ass off!! I wasn’t alone. The guys, Sonam Sir and the bus driver too had a swell time learning of Gyan’s antics. That’s why I say Gyan brings happiness to all people around him!!

We soon parked at someplace with a restaurant called “Hotel Damview” for lunch. We all piled in and had a look at the menu. Pork rice, Mutton rice and chicken rice were ordered. The guys had also ordered beer to go along with it. I wasn’t keen, but when Doley passed me a glass I had to take some out of courtesy!

I remember that the hotel served us some amazing food and even more amazing chutney. Red hot and absolutely lip smacking good! I will make it a point to eat at that place of I ever happen to make it through that road once again.

We reached Phuentsholing at around 1700 hours and crossed into the Indian side soon enough. I was sad to be leaving that place, the beautiful land, the cool and friendly people , the smashing beauties et all. But certain guys – Doley, Dutta, Gyan – were only too happy to be able to smoke legally. The moment we crossed over, the three of them lit up cigarettes. We didn’t want to waste much time and so went in search of a taxi, and found an Omni for 500 bucks. We later had to pay another 150 because of the inner roads we had to take to our guest house.

The Omni driver was flying his car like crazy, even braking like a formula one driver on a bridge. But we did good time and reached the locked gates of our guest house at around 1930 hours. Amid some confusion, we were let in. But we weren’t the only ones in the guest house. West Bengal Police and one official from my head office were also there, which meant we had to pile in one room. Fortunately the room was big and clean enough for all of us and the caretaker got some extra mattresses and sheets and pillows for us. That was all we needed and the soon enough we were sitting on the floor, snacks opened up, the courier bottle opened up and then – even flow!

We were well into our second pegs and Kenny and I noticed that Gyan was about to have his last peg. I reminded Kenny that he was going to waste precious liquid again. You see, Gyan has this nasty and utterly annoying habit of leaving his last peg unfinished. Be it Indian scotch, be it blended, be it single malt or be it a 25 year old Irish – Gyan leaves his last one half done. And it burns us from inside no end, especially since he gives no reason for it and says its always been that way.Dutta was also furious at that time and we all decided we wouldn’t serve him the last peg. Gyan was mad, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. So he sat a bit farther with a foul face, watching us take the last of the spirit in.

Suddenly he hit upon something and got up in a flash and walked, nigh paced, to my bag and fished out the K5 packet from it. I was just out of the bathroom then after a leak. He was pointing the bottle to us and uttered the ultimate line of the entire trip. It goes something like this – “Tum logon ko kya mein ch**** lagta hoon”. Twice. I knew what was going to happen and I was just at my wit’s end whether to fish out my digicam or to see the story unfold. I didn’t want to miss the forthcoming event and ditched the idea of the digicam and told Kenny to just wait and watch. He took up his empty glass and flashed his smile of victory at us and started pouring the whiskey. Moments later he realized that his glass was still empty!! And then he also realized that it was the empty K5 bottle that I had packed in my bag to add to my trophies.

The way we all burst out laughing must have been heard by everyone in the small compound. Gyan sat shell-shocked and red faced while we rolled on the floor, laughing as if we had been sprayed with nitrous oxide, tears rolling from our eyes no end. I don’t know how much I laughed but I know very well that I hadn’t laughed like that in a long long long long time. Gyan didn’t speak an entire word till the next morning.

Still having fits of laughter, we went downstairs to finish our dinner and sleep it off. We were planning to start early to beat the traffic at the border. Without much ado, we all dozed off, the quiet comfort of the air conditioned room lulling us to sleep very soon.